NGP (PSP2) Vs 3DS & other Pads/Pods/etc

What, in the name of Jesus, was all that shit about?

Oh - Yes! Of course, the NGP, which of course stands for 'New Generation Portable'. Yeah, the PSP2... Which of course stands for Playstation Portable. Two.

'Cos we all need one of them don't we! In amongst our stacks of iPods, iPads, iPhones, Blackberrys, Blackberry Playbooks, netbooks, laptops, mobile phones, kindles, Xbox's, PS3's, Wii's... I mean, where exactly do these things fit in any more? Look at it. It's no longer just a games console, handheld or otherwise, and quite frankly I wish it'd stop pretending to be! It's everything all the other shit I listed already does. Ok, so maybe its 'fortei' is games 'on the move', but they still expect you to shove all your music and videos on it, they expect you to be browsing the web on it, taking pictures on it - We can do all that bollocks on stuff that already exists, or that's coming out - Things we already decided we want - And now this!

Point is, where will it end? Home consoles are slowly morphing more and more into computers but when it comes to handheld technology, how many devices do we really need crammed into our pockets all apparently with the task of making our lives easier, and how long until games consoles have phones thrown in them? The DS has a camera - We all thought that would never happen. Your phone has snake. Fuck it, your phone has Metal Gear ARSING Solid now, why the fuck do you need an NGP? We're already living in the future, wake up!

Of course, the PSP2 is going to be up against the new Nintendo 3DS. Which stands for 3 Dual Screens, I believe? This is a clever little beast as it's 3D (Yes, 3D! Because bus journeys have gotten even more boring lately) but wait for it... You don't need to wear a pair of oversized specs to enjoy the many dimensions on offer! Clever indeed. So, at least ol' Nintendo are doing something new, something different! But then again, I ask you, how long before we've got unnecessary 3D technology in our phones, our iPhones, our refrigerators?! Come to think of it, how long will it be until the PSP3, or the Nintendo 4DS are rubbed in our faces, begging for cash? It only feels like yesterday I sold my PSP. Because it was shit. And got about a tenna for it. Because IT'S SHIT.

I don't know about you, but I've realised something. I've learned something about technology. How long ago was it that everybody wet themselves over the iPad? Really not very long ago. How much did they spend on getting it ASAP? Quite a lot, actually. And how long until the new iPad is released meaning the original and now old piece of tat you all mushed your fat fingers against in glee, whilst Steve Jobs smeared your dosh in and around his bum crack, will become worthless? ... Exactly.

Be at least one piece of technology behind everybody else. When the PSP2 comes out, go grab a PSP. They'll be about as cheap as they're worth and for a while you can pretend it's the greatest thing on earth. Same with the 3DS. And, much like I was saying earlier, soon you'll only need to choose the brand of your games console/phone/netbook/kindle/pad/pod/etc, because they'll all be the sodding same thing! So go as slow as possible. Buy a VHS player all over again, enjoy it while it lasts!